Rape - Defense with everyday items

I know that with the recent increase in rape cases in Delhi, there has been a lot of mails circulating around on what to do and what not to do when you are fearing that you might get raped. Towards the end of this post, I will add a link to some of these compilations.

So I thought let me put my 2 cents also out there as I am a believer of 'You play with the hand you are dealt with'. But then again, who said you shouldn’t play with a little preparation. Hence, some quick tips on what might help you in those crucial moments.

Kick them hard – Though it physically pains me to even write this imagining the pain it might inflict on the man, it needs to be said. Any man has two sensitive areas – One of course is the groin area and the other is the exposed throat. At the moment that any person decides to do such a thing, he stops becoming a person but turns into a monster. And you shouldn’t feel anything in kicking a monster. So... when a guy approaches you with that intention; don’t hesitate to kick / punch him in his sensitive areas as that would give you ample time to run away. Kick that ^%*&^*(& so hard that he can’t get it up ever again. Remember "SING" – Solar Plexus-Instep-Nose-Groin. Elbow in solar plexus; stomp on foot as hard as you can; jam the palm of your hand into their nose in an upward motion; and then finish with a knee to the groin. Follow the picture.

Use thy keys to lock the hell – Every one of us has one another set of keys on us when we go out. Those keys could be your offense weapon. Hold the key ring in such a way that the shaft of keys protrude from between your fingers and hold them tight. This gives you a powerful offensive weapon with which you can draw blood from the enemy.

Pain killer or pain inflicter – I know that in places like US etc., you have things like pepper spray and stun gun. But they are not available (or readily available for pepper spray) in India yet. And the US vendors are not willing to ship to India because the policy is a little bit ambiguous. Trust me! I have tried. So you do the next best thing. Use something which causes unbelievable amount of pain and is easily available in the market. My money is on something like relispray or Volini etc. Keep a can unwrapped and ready to be used in your handbag. That fluid can give you excruciating pain when it gets in your eyes. I have felt it. Not that anyone sprayed me… It’s just that I poked my finger in my eye after spraying my back. And god awful it was!!!

Be smart – Nowadays, most of us have smartphones. Use the smartphone to download apps which make loud noises. Even if you don’t own one such phone, there are several gadgets available in market which look like a pair of magnets but create such a loud ruckus when they are separated. So all you have got to do is to separate them at the time when you need. True that their original purpose was to inform when a window is being opened to prevent burglary, they would serve our purpose rather well… won’t they?

Please fasten your belt – With the modern day outfit, comes a unique accessory called the belt. In dire situations, remove your belt and hold it with the buckle side away from you. You use this belt as a whip to hit anybody who comes near you. The steel buckle, and the power of centripetal force, will provide it with enough hit power to seriously injure someone. For traditional clothes wearing women, you can use you dupatta / stole for the same purpose. Use some heavy object like a sandal or that glass perfume bottle that you are carrying in our handbag or the handbag itself. Double over your dupatta and tie / place it in the middle and you can use it to the same effect as the belt.

Even more important than these things is your psychological defense. Just because you are in that situation doesn’t mean that you have to break down and start crying. It is not a Shakti Kapoor movie. Be mentally alert for everything. Be aggressive. Be loud. And don’t give up. Never give up. They are more likely to feel confident if you are meek, mute and submissive. Fight, fight dirty, kick (repeatedly), bite, and scratch. Do anything and everything which comes to your mind but DO NOT GIVE UP. Give it everything you have. Cry hoarse with your voice. Scream, yell and draw attention to yourself; BUT DO NOT GIVE UP.

But most of all, hope that this post was written in vain and I pray and nobody ever gets to use any of this in real life.

Some other links: http://www.wikihow.com/Prevent-a-Potential-Rape

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/advice/tips/how-serial-rapists-target-victims http://makeachange1.wordpress.com/2012/12/20/self-protection%EF%B8%B1self-defence/

Image Courtesy: Google Images

PS: I know I have not been regular here but life has been very much hectic off late. Will do better from now on.

Top 5 things that she wants from you!

One thing that the girls cannot get enough of, are the complements. So, heaven forbid if you decided to let go of an opportunity to praise her dressing style, the way she looks, her nail paint and the works. At times, they are known to drop hints and lines you are supposed to catch and take the discussion with them. The best bet in this case is to be attentive, ALWAYS, when with them and despite however they may be; and LISTEN to all that she says.

Somehow they get a kick in trying to have fun with you if you missed even a bit of what they said. They will always feign indignation at your apparent lack of interest, raise hue and cry and playfully refuse to tell you the thing. The best way out of this mess is to humor them and keep on cajoling them to reveal that itsy bitsy peace of info.

Curtsy and Chivalry are the two things which are, at times, assumed to be dead but definitely not for our desi femme fatales. They most certainly want their men to open the doors for them, offer and pull up seats for them, and help them cross the road. While women empowerment people may raise hue and cry over the fact that men are trying to undermine the authority of the females and not allowing them to progress by providing them with an undue preferential treatment; even they are secretly happy when a colleague offers them a seating place.

At times you may be called upon the arduous task of helping them in choosing what shade they should go for. So, even if you don’t know the difference between cyan and fawn shades, it would really help your case if you would feign interest and actually have some conversation with her about what shade of nail paint suits her complexion most. It is not the actual color shades that she is interested in but the fact that you are paying attention to what she is actually doing. The best option for you is to take a careful look at all the shades that she has short-listed; pick any random one and stick to it. If it is a shade that she actually likes, she will be happy at your “participation” and you get to have a treat. On the other hand, if she doesn’t like the shade, she will laugh at the silly you your poor color combination skills and proceed to buy a shade of her choice while still giving you brownie points for “participation”.

And the last, but definitely not the least; CHEESY LINES! However much everyone says that the cheesy lines are passé, our female friends cannot get enough of it. Any confrontation? Try a cheesy line about her looking even better when she is angry and watch her melt faster than butter in 500o oven. Did not pay attention to her when she was asking which dress to wear to the party? Try complementing her on looking beautiful in any which dress.

Trust me! It works!!!

Images Courtesy: images.elfwood.com, i.ehow.com, www.datingtales.net, rockstar-pickup.com

PS: In the coming days, there may a lot many posts on weddings and such relationship facts. So please request you to stay tuned.

PPS: I had written an earlier post on What women want? Do go through it at your leisure!

Gender Discrimation of the second kind

"This post is written for BLOGESHWAR and Anubhooti."

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Those who say that gender discrimination does not exist in the world are lying to you. We just try to pretend that it is not there but it is very much present, always! I have been a witness to blatant gender discrimination and so have you. It is just that we men are not yet courageous to admit that we are irked by this. Yes you read it right! I am talking gender discrimination against men!

DO you not believe me? Let us walk through!

Looking at the range of colors available in the market: When you go to the market, all the shades that the guys have, say, in their jeans are black, brown, blue, blue-black, black-brown and darker or lighter tones of these shades. In all, there would be like five or six different variety of clothes. And that’s it. On the other hand, when a girl goes shopping she will have like a couple of hundred different designs of clothes to choose from in the first place. Then come the dozen odd colors in each dress. Then they come to the material in microscopic details. And then there are matching accessories for each dress and what not! No wonder that over 90% shops in any market cater to women’s attire.

FB wall of men and women: An average guy, when he posts any status update, will get a couple of comments and some half a dozen likes. On the other hand, when a girl posts any update, however insignificant it may be, will generate enough buzz to put Google buzz to shame.

In India, when you go to any place; there are bound to be queues. Even in these queues, the fairer sex has a special place as a parallel queue. Even in Delhi Metro, they have a segregated coach to themselves. Now, how effective it is, is a matter of discussion. But it is the idea that counts doesn’t it?

Shifting our focus to the stupid box, we forever keep on hearing about the “Saas-Bahu” dramas. Have you ever heard of a “Sasur-Damad” soap? You have Komolika bindis available in the market but do you see Loha Singh moustache anywhere?

There are even some vocations that are an all women territory and if a man decides to go into that domain, they are considered in the same category as people would consider Rakhi Sawant and MNS folks. Nuts! Not only vocations, there are several places of education which are dedicatedly reserved for the fairer sex. Were it the other way round, there would have been a furore. But not here. After all the "ladeej" need their share of privacy!

Doesn’t all this talk make you think if women are the ones being discriminated against or is it the other way round?

Images Courtesy: newsthatmattersnot, Doghouse diaries, delhimetrofreak, hubimg, nela.iblog, connect.in.com

PS: The post is written with a sense of humor and I would appreciate if readers could practice the same. I know that women, in general, are very shoddily treated in India and we do need to be more proactive in prevention of cruelty to women and girl child.