Monday, April 12, 2010

Stereotypes – Traffic

In every situation, you would find a certain number of stereotypes. Be it office or a party or an average class. The stereotypes are present everywhere in different avatars. You just have to have an eye to look out for them. In this post, I would list down the stereotypes that you are bound to notice when you are driving on a moderate to high traffic road.

Honker – The sole aim of this guy is to scare the hell out of the soul who didn’t see him coming or irritate the cr*p out of the person next in line to him. He might or might not want to go anywhere fast but he surely wants the road ahead of him clear of any vehicle. Often, this species of humanoids is found to behave as if he is permanently angry with someone, accompanied by loud voices emanating from his mouth.

Pursuer – This is one guy you can’t shake off. You might have been able to get rid of sticky girlfriends or any other friends, unwelcome atithis etc. but not this guy. All he wants to do is to either one up you or keep on following you. He will park his car behind you and will follow you anywhere you drive (of course not to your destination if you both have different ones).

Zig-Zagger – This guy will follow the path of least resistance to the places that have minimal traffic. It doesn’t matter to him if he disturbs the floe of the entire traffic behind him but he must get o that vacant spot at the other side of the road.

Speedster – Give him a space of 10 meters and this guy will try and show off the speed of his car to one and all. Also, this species is known for highest fuel consumption per head amongst all species because they don’t know basic things such as how to switch off car at red lights or in traffic jams.

Blocker – Also known as “Mr.-I-Wont-Budge-No-Matter-What”, these people are very well known for their habit of following a set path. No matter how empty the road is, no matter the traffic signal has just turned green, no matter if he is driving in the wrong lane. This person will assiduously plod on his chosen path, unmindful of the discomfort that he may be causing to others. Very often, this specie also exhibits the traits of adopting a set speed at which they will drive, or try to drive.

Mr.-I-Will-Change-Lanes-Without-Signal – These are the most dangerous of these traffic stereotypes and are singularly responsible for more than their fair share of the Insurance Companies’ workload as well as most of the traffic jams that you or I are destined to come across. As their categorization suggests, they are free willed people who truly believe that signaling for lane changing is for novices and that they can actually manage without it.

Jumper – A compulsive red signal jumper by nature, the traffic signals don’t mean anything to him. God may help those who decide to step in the way of these daredevils as they are bound to need god’s help if they are to survive that ordeal. It is often rumored that they jump lights because they are actually color blind and don’t know which light is on but don’t want to admit it. Needless to say, nobody has been able to stop them long enough to make an independent confirmation or rejection of such a statement.


In addition to this, there is also another rapidly vanishing species. They are called as Sane Drivers. Once, when cars used to be spare, these used to be found in abundance. But with the advent of Honda city (and the likes in cars) driving Jats (and the likes in humanlike creatures), these Sane Drivers have been steadily decreasing. In fact, I remember that at some point even I used to be a completely sane driver. However, so much driving everyday has caused me to mutate into a combination of these stereotypes. I still have some sanity left in me so I am not completely gone as yet but I am scared what will happen to me? What affect this continuous driving have on me? Only time will tell.

PS: Please note that even though article has been written for a male stereotype, it would not bode well to assume that similar stereotypes do not exist in the drivers from fairer sex. In fact, the traits can be observed even more clearly in them.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Aashish
    First of all I must admire you for sparing time and thinking of putting all this together in such a neat manner on various topics. Keep it up. I really feel proud being associated to you and that too where you bow down to touch my feet as an elder, u really make me a proud elder brother.

    On what will happen to you if u keep driving so much, i believe nothing will happen b'cos u r too sensitive a person to do any wrong to anybody and above all i hv no doubts that u will soon be affording a driver. Wish u best,

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