Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Emosanal Attyachar

Well I have not had any love affairs, none serious anyways just crushes and infatuations etc.. you know the works. Hence, I have been (un?)fortunate enough to not have any serious “adventures” on that front.

I have always been more on the side of being careful to the extent being fanatic about it. That’s why; I have never missed a single train or bus because I used to reach way too early for that to happen. Hence, no emotional trauma in running after the train, trying to catch it and some pretty women extending her hand, trying to help me get on board. Several of my friends had that experience on a daily basis, I mean missing the transportation and not women extending their hand part. Women, if it were up to them, would probably throw a 1000 lb weight at them.

For me, and incidentally thousands of others, one of the biggest trauma were the placement seasons for the 2009 batch of MBA class in India (not sure about abroad but I am sure that they couldn’t have been rosy either).

A very good friend of mine wrote in his blog post (Read it here) about how the MBA class of 2009 broke all records. To quote him “Less than 10% changing their jobs within one year, Maximum Salary is 9 LPA, 15% Placements are a given, There are a maximum of 5% beautiful girls in the batch, if any”. Granted this is an exaggeration but could not be truer in its essence.

And nowhere was this fact proven more than in the placement scenarios in 2009. Let alone an Average Joe engineering class. Even at IITs, placements were not complete. Announcements were made for students to either study further or kindly make their own arrangements. At IIMs, as they say where legends of crore rupee packages are made, the college authorities were frantic to get at least one placement per person and were finding even that a daunting task. This; when the 2008 batch had an average of 3 jobs per person. This; when the only reason why people come to IIMs is because they certainly attract higher pay packages (despite of whatever BS people say in their interviews). This; when people with 4-5 years work experience, who unfortunately decided to join a B-school; ended up getting a job with lower profile and lesser package than they were getting before the two years of B-school education.

Now, in this kind of situation, imagine the plight of a student who isn’t getting a job. The fact that nobody around him is getting a job is not much of a consolation to him at that point. The fact that other campuses are failing equally to get jobs for their residents is not too much of a respite to him. And the fact that probably the dumbest of all people seem to be getting job much earlier than the smart ones. Nothing, could be more of an emotional trauma than this bleak picture. Thankfully, not many of us suffered from post traumatic stress disorder. But a lot of us came close to it... really close!

And then there are formalities that you have to do. You have to, still, talk to people who have got placed, smile at your plight, make jokes about it and even force yourself to laugh at this situation. You have to answer the queries of people as to why the job scenario is this bad and the mother of all discussions “Amreeka ka share market”. And then there are endless rounds of Group Discussions and Interviews where you still have to try and give your best, trying to act like this is not you fifth interview of the day and that you are genuinely interested in the job because of the profile and the opportunities it may present and not just because you want the entire exercise to be completed at the earliest.

And no post on B-school placements can be complete without the mention of the ubiquitous, Elite group of students called “The Placement Committee”. I am not going to put a lot of description on that topic as that is going to be a separate post in itself. But those who have had an opportunity to interact with this bunch of rather “interesting” people would know what I am talking about.

What more could be more of an Emotional Attyachar than that, I ask?

Image courtesy:,

Friday, July 23, 2010

My Dream Job

“Har kisi ko mukammal jahaan nahi milta, kahin zamin to kahin aasmaa nahi milta;
jise bhi dekhiye vo apne aap mein gum hai, zubaa mili hai magar humzubaa nahi milta;
bujhaa saka hai bhala kaun vaqt ke shole, ye aisi aag hai jisme dhuaa nahi milta;
tere jahaan mein aisa nahi ki pyaar na ho, jahaa ummeed ho iski vahaan nahi milta”

- Ahista Ahista, 1981

“Find a job you enjoy, and you'll never work a day in your life”

- Confucius

In an ideal world, we would all be doing the job that we always dream about and be happy doing it. But this is not an ideal world. We are not perfect. We don’t end up doing the job which we really dream about (most of us don’t). And hence, end up being miserable in the job which we are so sorely trying to fit in. And why so? Because of the misplaced expectations that we think we have to fulfill. Because of the name tags that we have associated with our names and the need to prove to your peer group that you are as worthy of that tag as the rest of the world. And that’s where the problem begins.

That being said, I have a lot of different aspirations for my job. It’s a different matter altogether that whatever I am doing currently is slightly different than what I would like to do. But as I said, it’s not a perfect world.

So what is my dream job? Actually that job would need to be invented and cannot be said as being ‘A’ or ‘B’. so let me see what all do I want to do the most and then let’s see if we can come up with something… Shall we?

Perhaps I have seen one too many of the spy movies but I have always wanted to be a covert CIA operative/ MIB agent kind. Now I know some may say that I do not have the disposition for the same but I say “technicalities”. And I would really like to be one. So, if CIA is reading this blog perchance; I am open for recruitment.

I also have passion for cooking. I like to cook all kind of foods, like to eat them (many can testify for that) and like to cook for others as well. So some job which would let me cook as much as I want to… Of course not Michelin 5 star kind of cooking but everyday kind of cooked food that you usually crave for once you have been in and out of hotels once too often.

I also like to be a mentor to students. I like to believe that I have good teaching skills and a temperament to go with it. It also goes very well with my hobby of reading and reading is something that I am always ready to do at the drop of a hat. I can never resist a good read.

And it’s a trend nowadays to be particularly thoughtful of the needy, whoever they may be. From the blink-and-you-miss kind of TV celebrities to the Rakhi Sawant wannabe types to the oh-so-thoughtful BrAngelina who have decided to adopt the entire wide world to the celebrity contestants on the various TV shows; all are in one way or other trying to help the needy. And after all, we all are human and we need one thing or the other to get it going for us. Hence, to that extent we are all needy… even big shot politicians who are in need of more and more government sponsored projects (Read Commonwealth games) to fill their own pockets, to business men whose sole aim in life is to suck their shareholders dry (Principles of management be damned).

So to sum it up, I think that my dream job would be as a Guide/Mentor/Professor in the morning to help the “Needy”; a chef by the night to feed the “Needy” and the “Poors” of the Forbes lists; and in background working as a CIA cover ops guy with Batmobil car in the garage and flashy high tech gadgets.

Images Courtesy:,f,,, 

This post is in response to the Blog Adda Contest at BlogAdda.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Animal Behavior

I am sure that most of us must have seen, at least in India, hordes of animals moving along, dropping pieces of crap along the way. Also, we all must have seen our fair share of people throwing their garbage from the window of their moving vehicle. Be it fruit peelings, empty wrappers or other disposable items; people are unwilling of keeping even a single piece of scrap in their car and want to throw it out at the earliest. Me thinks; it is the psychological manifestation of the animal genes in the humans that they behave this way. Since it is impolite to excrement in the public and mandatory to wear clothes in general appearance, again at least in India; people resort to the waste discarding mentality in some alternate manner.

What say you?

Friday, July 16, 2010

An Interview with Sheila Dixit

Nation Shocked –  CM favors bandh

The nation was shocked when the Delhi CM, Sheila Dixit came forward today with an open support for the Bandh. When contacted, the official spokesperson for the Delhi government was unavailable for comments.

The reporter, however, got through to madam dixit through alternate means (ones that they were certainly not taught in the journalism schools).

A brief excerpt of the interview with her.

 Interviewer (IV) –  So is it true madam what we are hearing about you supporting Bandh?

Sheila Dixit (SD)
–  Of course it is true. It was I who circulated the rumor in the first place?

IV – But why would you support something organized by your opposition parties?

SD – Because it gave me an opportunity for something that I had been planning to do for so long.

IV – Which is?

SD – I have been watching the poor people of Delhi slaving away for the US MNCs, literally in the day for domestic and in the night for US and European clients. Add to this, the roads that we have dug up for commonwealth and you get a perfect recipe for a sick and tired Delhite. I wanted to do something like a Delhi holiday when they would not have to work or travel or anything. Just plain sitting at home. And that is exactly what this Bandh helped them to.

IV – But why support Bandh in the first place? Why not declare a holiday some other day?

SD – I would have but then all the other states would have been eager t do that as well, especially those didi-dada land people. And that would have landed me in a tough spot with Soniaji.

IV – But as it turned out some, in fact a lot of, people did indeed go to the office. They didn’t rest did they? Then what’s the point of all this.

SD – See. Why do you think that we were displaying news items on Bandh for the full preceding week? It was so that people know that there is a Bandh, get a late start and hence an excuse to their bosses for not being able to come to the office. I instructed my police to safely tell people to turn back to home. But we can’t help those who do not want to help themselves to a free holiday. What can we do about people who reached office before 8 AM? I can’t ask my men to wake up at 7 just so that they stop those dimwits so addicted to their work.

IV – Then what about the losses to the public property and the loss of wages to the daily wage earners?

SD – Public property? What Public property damage? My trustworthy informers tell me that due to the swift action of the pot-bellied Delhi police restricted the public damage to the minimal and for that I commend the actions of the police. And what is this talk about wage loss? If a person is coming t Delhi, it is deemed that they have ample resources (read money) to get them through the thick and thin. And anyhow, being in Delhi, they should be proud and should not let the little things, like hunger or paying their kid’s tuition fees, bother them. All in all I think the Bandh plan worked pretty well for us. Our people got a much deserved break, we were the good guys and the opposition were the bad guys and got the flak.

IV – Thank you madam for such a candid discussion.

The key opposition leaders, when contacted, did not comment on the issue but some party workers, on the condition of anonymity, revealed that the party was considering legal recourse against Delhi CM trying to take benefit from something not done by her government. Another anonymous party worker was infuriated at the ruling party conspiracy on reverse psychology n the left and BJP.

Image Courtesy:

PS: For those of you who have not guessed it by now, this is a Fake Interview and I am sure no politician, let alone a sitting CM, would be caught dead saying these things!!!

Friday, July 9, 2010

We Understand

We Indians are a very compassionate race. We are in fact so compassionate that we often understand the plight of total strangers without them saying anything to us.

So what if we have to stand in a long line because the official who was supposed to have come to office by 10 hasn’t come as yet. The poor guy must be stuck in the jam otherwise he must have been on his seat. It is the damn traffic and rains and potholes and what not, which must have cause the guy to be delayed. Definitely no problem with the guy himself. We understand.

Maid took an off without informing and now cleaning and washing all has to be done by self? Surely she must be in some terrible emergency like a broken nail or for that matter an unbroken sleep which is why she had to take a leave. Sometimes these things happen, you know. Anyways, she doesn’t clean too well either. Good thing that I will do it myself today. Hope she didn’t have much serious problem and hope it get resolved by today. We understand.

Watchman didn’t come to wash the car? And after the last 3 hours in the rain and dug up roads of Delhi, your car is a total mess with bits and pieces of mud and god-knows-what stuck to all parts of car. Doesn’t matter. I anyhow need to burn the extra calories of yesterday’s Chhole Bhature. I might as well clean the car and burn up some calories. After all, once in a while even that poor watch man needs bit of shut-eye and enjoy a well deserved break. We understand.

These things, if faced in a foreign country, would be a source of embarrassment for the officials and immediate and strict actions would be taken to ensure that the same does not occur again. In India, though, it is all a part of day’s work for the inhabitants who have gotten so habituated to such acts of utter callousness that nobody really is concerned much about it.

Ever wondered why do we have that attitude? I feel that it is because we tend to have no expectations from others. And since we don’t have any expectations, we don’t get disappointed when we meet lack of service. Though, this is changing and fast.

On that thought, I also remember an ad campaign sometime back for an innerwear brand where the tagline was something like “Life mein toh bahut adjust karna padta. Shukra hai aapko underwear toh adjust nahin karna padega” (You have to adjust for a lot of things in life. Thankfully you wont have to adjust your undies). Have a look at the video.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Common Man's Bandh

Various parts of India were terribly impacted by the BJP/Left led bandh.

Several offices declared a compensatory off with employees having to come some other day in lieu.

Some schools declared holiday for kids.

Innumerable commuters faced hassles in commuting to and fro from the office. (The smart ones left home at seven in the morning to reach office at eight and left office at seven in the evening thereby avoiding the “pleasure” of meeting the mob)

Patients suffered because they could not receive treatments in time.

Public and private vehicles punctured or man-handled or even set ablaze.

Liters of fuel must have been wasted while the vehicles were stuck in the jams.

The supposed message of “protest” against price rise somehow got lost in this entire charade!!! To an untrained eye, it may seem that the sole purpose of this “protest” was to create as much inconvenience to the general public and an embarrassment to the government. The actual concerns of the public be damned!

And by the way; who did gain from the Bandh? Certainly not the aam aadmi (common man). Did the daily wage earner, on whose behalf the bandh was actually called, get his share of food? Who will compensate the laborers, taxi and auto drivers of the daily wage that they lost today? Will the BJP and the left party be willing to reimburse their wages for the day? So what is the point of such a protest if not to create a political drama for the sake of a few votes?

On the bright side, no traffic jams while coming back home so a smooth drive. But as one of the RJs on a music station said if we can have jam free commute only when we have such "Bandhs", it probably isn't something to be particulalrly happy about!!!

Update: According to various estimates from CII, FICCI, Assocham etc.; the one day Bharat Bandh has been estimated to have costed any thing between Rs 3,000 to 13,000 crore in terms of GDP at factor cost. The worst affected are daily wage earners and people dependent on small trade (Ofcourse!!!)