Friday, July 16, 2010

An Interview with Sheila Dixit

Nation Shocked –  CM favors bandh

The nation was shocked when the Delhi CM, Sheila Dixit came forward today with an open support for the Bandh. When contacted, the official spokesperson for the Delhi government was unavailable for comments.

The reporter, however, got through to madam dixit through alternate means (ones that they were certainly not taught in the journalism schools).

A brief excerpt of the interview with her.

 Interviewer (IV) –  So is it true madam what we are hearing about you supporting Bandh?

Sheila Dixit (SD)
–  Of course it is true. It was I who circulated the rumor in the first place?

IV – But why would you support something organized by your opposition parties?

SD – Because it gave me an opportunity for something that I had been planning to do for so long.

IV – Which is?

SD – I have been watching the poor people of Delhi slaving away for the US MNCs, literally in the day for domestic and in the night for US and European clients. Add to this, the roads that we have dug up for commonwealth and you get a perfect recipe for a sick and tired Delhite. I wanted to do something like a Delhi holiday when they would not have to work or travel or anything. Just plain sitting at home. And that is exactly what this Bandh helped them to.

IV – But why support Bandh in the first place? Why not declare a holiday some other day?

SD – I would have but then all the other states would have been eager t do that as well, especially those didi-dada land people. And that would have landed me in a tough spot with Soniaji.

IV – But as it turned out some, in fact a lot of, people did indeed go to the office. They didn’t rest did they? Then what’s the point of all this.

SD – See. Why do you think that we were displaying news items on Bandh for the full preceding week? It was so that people know that there is a Bandh, get a late start and hence an excuse to their bosses for not being able to come to the office. I instructed my police to safely tell people to turn back to home. But we can’t help those who do not want to help themselves to a free holiday. What can we do about people who reached office before 8 AM? I can’t ask my men to wake up at 7 just so that they stop those dimwits so addicted to their work.

IV – Then what about the losses to the public property and the loss of wages to the daily wage earners?

SD – Public property? What Public property damage? My trustworthy informers tell me that due to the swift action of the pot-bellied Delhi police restricted the public damage to the minimal and for that I commend the actions of the police. And what is this talk about wage loss? If a person is coming t Delhi, it is deemed that they have ample resources (read money) to get them through the thick and thin. And anyhow, being in Delhi, they should be proud and should not let the little things, like hunger or paying their kid’s tuition fees, bother them. All in all I think the Bandh plan worked pretty well for us. Our people got a much deserved break, we were the good guys and the opposition were the bad guys and got the flak.

IV – Thank you madam for such a candid discussion.

The key opposition leaders, when contacted, did not comment on the issue but some party workers, on the condition of anonymity, revealed that the party was considering legal recourse against Delhi CM trying to take benefit from something not done by her government. Another anonymous party worker was infuriated at the ruling party conspiracy on reverse psychology n the left and BJP.

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PS: For those of you who have not guessed it by now, this is a Fake Interview and I am sure no politician, let alone a sitting CM, would be caught dead saying these things!!!


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