Monday, May 31, 2010

Movie Review - Prince of Persia

I am a fan of this fantasy fiction genre. Though, I haven't played the PoP game, I have heard that it is quite the rage. So, it is without much expectations that I went to see the movie with my friends. Now, while the movie doesn't exactly blow you away like Dark Knight; it is still worth for one time watch on a hall and keeping a DVDrip with you just so you can watch it on your lappy whenever you want.

Though, the best thing about the movie is not the amazing landscaping, superb detailing or the special effects. It is the actors themselves. Actually two characters: First is the hero (Jake Gyllenhaal as Prince Dastan) which portrays the role of a sarcastic joker with deadly "kung fu"ish skills with panache, and the second is a villain-turned-friend trader (Alfred Molina as Sheik Amar) who believes in free trade, in government conspiracy killings, and in no taxes to the government. These two, provide a sort of comic relief in a superbly directed movie. Ben Kingsley was good in his role of King's brother and Gemma Arterton as Princess Tamina was passable.

Again, since I was not familiar with the plot; the ending was surprising and well executed as well.

And contrary to what I was expecting, with this movie being an adaptation of the movie, it turned out to be pretty well done. I do not care what the sophisticated critics may say about the movie... I liked it... My friends liked it and if you are looking for fun two hours, good special effects, and some witty sarcastic humor on modern capitalistic humor (and respite from scorching heat too); then this week, PoP is the movie for you; especially since Kites ki dor toh audience ne kaat hi di hai. (Kites has turned out to be a miserable failure that it is).

Friday, May 28, 2010

Travel Photos!

A Picture is worth a thousand words. This is my entry for BlogAdda Travel Photo challenge

This pic was taken with the intent of capturing only a picturesque lakeside view which, at sunset, was appearing very beautiful; without any couple in it. I was in a cab at that time and feeling too lazy to stop it momentarily and get off to take the picture, I decided to do so in the moving cab. As it happens, when it clicked, there was a couple in the landscape because of the moving cab and the shutter exposure getting delayed and all the technicalities. What makes it special is that it is usually otherwise that you want to take a picture of a person or a couple doing something(s) and yet you end up with a blank stretch. This was so opposite in nature and to that extent that it gave us all quite a few laughs.

What more could ask for the proof of Globalization? The picture was taken in Kolkata. The picture represents a British company, selling a Japanese product in the eastern parts of India. Globalization Indeed.

My Personal favorite. I spotted this in a sprawling mall in Kolkata on…. Wait for it… Valentine’s Day. Guess the mall authorities must have had enough of the couples in their malls (Kolkata is famous/notorious for girls and boys hooking up at a very early age) and were probably trying to act as a kill joy. Though, looking at the turnout, I would say that they failed miserably.

An example of the unity of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that the temperature was soaring and the humidity was providing them with no respite, these honest, hard(ly) working men and women toiled in the scorching sun, out on the main road to form a human chain to launch their protest against the disinvestment of United Bank of India. They also took care not to disrupt the traffic… by too much.

This is what happens when you drink a lot… of cold water… in the changing seasons, sleep only in your shorts with fan on at full speed.

The ubiquituous Pringoo item that i think should be useful to me... 

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Some Tips for Census

This is a general post on increasing awareness amongst people about census. Now this is not a post where I will census is important, support the workers blah blah blah. 
This is a post about important things that one must know about the census and the census workers lest someone gets robbed blind by a bunch of impersonators in a census worker disguise just to get into the house or molesters or any variations thereof. For all you know, they could be con guys, TV guys, or simply sick guys.

  • Don’t let anybody walk into your house without checking their identity cards if they say they are census enumerators. Also, they don’t come in groups, only one enumerator will visit your house.
  • Don’t give away photocopies of any of your documents like proof of date of birth, residence etc. The enumerator won’t ask for any proof for your responses. If they ask for any documental proof, it most certainly isn’t going into the official records and would probably be used in some other god-forbidden scheme.
  • However, since no official proof is being asked for doesn’t mean that you nuts over lying. Don’t be tempted to lie or brag while answering any question. If you use state transport buses to go to your office, don’t tell them you hire AC cabs. The data would never be made public on individual level, so what’s the point?
  • It’s true that you could be penalized for refusing to answer a question, and it’s unfortunate that they never consult the civil society over the content of census questionnaire, but some questions are not yet part of the questionnaire.
  • Use your common sense before answering, e.g. a census enumerator can surely ask if someone is pregnant in the family, but he or she has no business asking how and where did the member got pregnant. Similarly, they can ask about number of western or Indian toilets, but not whether you take a look at it before you flush.
  • Familiarize yourself with the questionnaire. Perhaps no media organization gave you this information (as giving the information out doesn't increase the TRP but a robbed senior citizen couple does, and also provides fuel for future episodes), but here is the link of what a census questionnaire might look like. Try to go through the link.
  • Still, if you don’t want to answer a question, you could claim that it hurts your religious or cultural sensitivity. Tell the enumerators that you find the questions provocative and offensive. It works; e.g. it is no longer necessarily for the head of the family to name the female members of his family as it was deemed to be against the customs of some communities.
  • When the census interview is over, the enumerators would make a sign outside your residence.
In case of any doubt as to the identity or intentions of the workers, inform the police at the earnest or at least call your neighbors to the rescue.
All said and done, Please realize the just because some government school teachers have had the misfortune of being appointed on the census duty doesn't make them any less human. So whenever any genuine census worker comes to your doorstep, attend them courteously, offer them water and DON'T set you dogs on them or DON'T close door in their face. For the fake ones, you can go ahead and beat the hell out of them... I don't mind.

PS: This, after I read an article here. The article, though written in a humorist manner and makes fun of some aspects and the whole “bust size” thing, is a good read and very informative. I have copy pasted the relevant section of the article and modified as per the tone. I am not the original writer of this article.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Wanna Whack?

This post is an entry in BlogAdda’s Wanna Whack contest sponsored by Pringoo.

Here is my entry-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On my way to work, I pass through Ashram Chowk. One fine day, as I was passing through chowk towards Faridabad, I encountered a lot of traffic despite that time being pretty early in the day. The reason, as I realized later was a female driver, in a new car, talking on her phone, while driving in the middle lane on the road and refusing to budge an inch. At that moment, I really felt like stopping the car and give her a piece of my mind.

At my office, we had three floors and an ultra-slow archaic lift. And I mean reaaallllly slow. On one day, I boarded the lift from ground floor to go to third floor. I was joined by a lady in the lift who couldn’t decide whether she wanted to go to second or first floor. Hence, she ended up pressing both buttons and got off on first floor. Which meant that I had to spend an eternity before I reached third floor. I swear, several of my hair turned grey that day.

A colleague of mine had an irritating habit of making a “tch” sound while trying to explain things to anyone. While that may be okay for a couple of minutes, it really starts getting on your nerves when you have to hear it on a continuous basis.

Yet another one on traffic woes… A sudden indicator-less lane changing by a motorcycle-F1-wannabe-driver and a Honda-City-Jat led to a 10 meter serial car bumping incident and brought the traffic to a standstill. Interestingly, as we were all stuck in the line-up, the Honda city driver took a left turn and disappeared from the scene while the wannabe F1 driver pulled another F1 stunt and sped away. While, we were stuck there for fault of anyone stuck there. Makes you wish you had some projectile to throw at them.

One of lectures at my institute took was looking like it might stretch beyond normal 90 minutes slot. That lecture being at the end of a very long day, was already getting pretty boring, and nobody was in any particular mood to letting it continue. The professor, though, had other things in mind and requested the class to bear for another 15 minutes. Though most of the class got ready to groan at that moment, a first bencher took the opportunity to enhance their credibility with the prof and told the prof that it would be ok to continue the lecture. The whole class was giving him the murderous looks. But that wasn’t all, he also asked several questions from the prof which further fueled the restlessness of the class. That was a classic incident how you desperately want to whack someone yet can’t.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Naxal Attack

Around 2750 people dies in the 9/11 attacks of the World trade center. The whole world felt the repercussions of that attack. The global economy reeled under the after effects of that effect. When the stock markets reopened, the Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA) stock market index fell 684 points, or 7.1%, to 8921. Needless to say, several innocents in various countries, even including USA, suffered as well because of belonging to Afghanistan or other such countries, being held up in the detention centers etc.

Around six thousand people have died in India due to naxalite attacks between 2001 and 2009 (Official figures from Ministry of Home Affairs). The actual numbers may be even more. And its not like only police or CRPF personnel are being killed in these attacks. An equal number, or in fact even more, of civilians are being killed in the process. And that by the group which is said to have been evolved out of tribals who were fighting for the betterment of their own people and yet they end up killing a whole lot of them. The situation has gotten to the point that the civilians refuse to board any transportation vehicle being occupied by any police personnel for the fear of being blown up on the way.

Political angle
The origin of Naxalite or Naxalvadis can be traced back to the Naxalbari region in West Bengal, which became famous for the left wing revolt that took place in the late 1960s. Their political inheritance can be traced back to 1967 split of Communist Party of India (Marxist), leading to formation of Communist Party of India (Marxist- Leninist). To whatever extent, these tribals have been funded and supported by hard core leftists under the pretense that they have been organized to ensure that the tribals are no taken undue benefit of. And of course to further the self interest of the political parties by having a stand by army of hooligans just in case they wanted to have a strike, or organize a bandh or for that matter capture some booth or abduct the seldom truth speaking representative (deemed as being a heretic against the popular governmental opinion). Of course not that the things have gotten out of hand and that which used to be tamed is now no more, all the political parties actively abhor the naxals and the naxals are opposed by virtually all mainstream Indian political groups even their own leftists. Though, Arundhati Roy is still there to support them.

Doesn’t that remind one of a certain Muslim terrorist organization being funded by a global superpower for their own interest in the east and now that the things have gone out of hand, the global power is out to erase the very existence of the group that they themselves conceptualized.

Damage to property
On 20th May, Naxals set a good train carrying diesel on fire. 15 tankers of total 50 caught fire with tanker carrying over 60 thousand liters of diesel. That’s close to one million liters of oil. In addition, train services have been disrupted in the route. Four express trains have been cancelled while several others had to be diverted. In addition, in a separate incident, naxals also looted 17 tons ammonium nitrate in Chhattisgarh. And we all know that Ammonium Nitrate is frequently used as an oxidizing agent in explosives, including improvised explosive devices. Ammonium nitrate/Fuel Oil is a widely used explosive mixture. Nitromethane is one of the most effective fuels used in this sort of explosive. Our best hope would be that the mixture explodes while in the presence of a lot of naxals, thereby saving us a lot of trouble.

The Red Rebels on 19th May killed four CRPF jawans in West Bengal by blowing up a vehicle on which they were travelling. On that day itself, Maoists also blew up a railway track near Jhargram in West Bengal, injuring the driver and assistant driver of a goods train.

On 17th May, 31 persons including women and children were killed by the rebels in Chhattisgarh’s Dantewada.

Where in these new do you find the interests of the tribal being protected? Damaging public property is an offence and these people are the worst offenders there could be

Naxals may stop the Indian economy
A look at the adjoining map depicting red corridor would be shocking enough for anyone to realize the extent of influence that the naxals have over the region. As of 2009, Naxalites are active across approximately 220 districts in twenty states of India accounting for about 40 percent of India's geographical area, they are especially concentrated in an area known as the "Red corridor", where they control 92,000 square kilometers.

Incidentally, all of this red corridor coincides with eth most mineral rich areas of the country comprising Eastern India, Orissa, Jharkhand, Chhattisgarh, Bihar and parts of Andhra Pradesh and having a wide range of important minerals such as Coal, Iron Ore, Diesel and others oils, wood and other minerals, food items through agricultural areas, foreign imports through ports. The worst case scenario could be that they power generation facilities may stop being of plans not letting be operated and lack of supply of thermal coal, scores of goods and passenger train etc.

Failure of public governance
At the end, it is very easy to say that the tribal are terrorists and that they must be eliminated. But even to eliminate them, we must understand why they are in the picture anyway. The main reason for the appearance of tribal donning the cap of a naxals is for them to prevent the unrestricted proliferation of outsiders into their area and to ensure the welfare of their fellows. At least that was the basic idea.

However, tribal alienation, displacement by large projects, and government failure to ensure food security have been the main reasons for the spread of Naxalites' influence in various states. The government, instead of making all the efforts towards understanding the concerns of the locals and solving  them, has been making half hearted efforts which have had more negative impact that positive. In fact such blatant ignoring of the locals have made them even more conscious of their shortcomings and made them more determined to fight for what’s their due and ready to struggle for land, forest resources, minimum wages, social dignity and self-governance.

In addition to this, various political influences have rather muddled up the situation and even the naxals, I assume, are not really sure what they are fighting for. But now that the fights have started, there is no way that they can stop now. They have to continue this fight, irrespective of the lack of rhyme or reason for this insane man slaughter.

PS: India is observing Anti-Terrorism Day on May 21, 2010 for today is the day when Late PM Rajiv Gandhi was assassinated.

Employees in various government offices, Public Sector Undertakings and other public institutions in the country will take a pledge against terrorism on this occasion. 

The Day is observed to generate awareness in the country among all sections of people, about the danger of terrorism, violence and its dangerous effect on the people, the society and the country as a whole.

Ironic isn’t it?

Disclaimer: Facts and figures from various sources. Opinions belong to me.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Tips for young people to become normal again

Following is a post that i read some place else and i liked it so much that i wanted it. So copying it here. The original can be found here.
Young people don’t know how good they have it. They live in an increasingly inter-connected, exciting world where Sreesanth is a role model, an iPad is considered useful and Pepsi decides to name an entire country after them. Nonetheless, most young people nowadays are illiterate, pretentious, horny and largely clueless. In short, like Tusshar Kapoor. Thus, here is a list of steps they can take to be considered normal.

Stop using “Ma”: I don’t know if you’re fans of Shashi Kapoor movies, but the next time you use “ma” in your sentence, I will shove your teeth so far up your own fucking ass that even a Japanese whaler’s harpoon won’t go deep enough to be able to fish it out. Seriously, is this some faux attempt at proving your love for your mother or did your priest make you miss grammar classes during kindergarten? The word is “my”. Repeat after me.

“My name is Khan, and I’m a lameass actor”


“Ma name izz Khan, I’m a rockstarrrrr”

And while we’re on the subject, when did “Killer Shit” and “That’s gangster” become part of the lingo to express approval? What the fuck is killer shit anyway? Do you suffer from advanced colitis? Anal cancer? And gangster? You’re telling me this happened because of Shiney Ahuja’s film of the same name? What time between the release of his movie and raping his maid did he bless us all with this ridiculous verbal concoction? Even Inzamam Ul Haq would cringe at such Anand Jon-ification of the language.

Stop LOLing: If you take a walk down some parks early in the morning, you might come across groups of senior citizens holding their stomachs and making loud gratuitous noises. I want you to observe this act very closely. It’s called LAUGHING. NOT LOLing. LAUGHING. Why the fcuk cant you laugh at a joke? Why do you have to say “LOL” in a conversation? It’s not a chat room where you’re trying to impress a spambot so that it turns the webcam on for you to jack off. I’m standing IN FRONT OF YOU! Don’t you dare bloody LOL me you son of a bitch! If you want to smile, smile! Don’t say tee hee. If you want to laugh, laugh! Because if you don’t I’m going to rip your tongue out, wipe it down Navjot Sidhu’s asscrack and smack you across the face with it like Xena warrior princess. And stop LOLing at your own jokes. If you have to end your own sentence with a LOL, your shit ain’t funny to begin with.

Stop reading Paulo Coelho: When the hell did Paulo Coelho become the must read author to prove your intellectual chops? Is it the graphic love scenes in Eleven Minutes that turn your nuts to momos? Do you think reading “The Alchemist” is a short cut to become a pharmacist? Don’t stick your stupid Facebook and twitter profiles with Paulo Coelho as your favourite author. It just tells me you don’t really read and just bought one at a train station because everyone seemed to have one and you felt more generous than buying a copy of “Who moved my cheese?”

Stop showing me your boxers: Seriously son, pull those freaking pants up. I DON’T want to see your boxers. And I certainly don’t want to see your Grand Canyon cuz I’m sure as hell not Kobe Bryant looking for some practice free throws. I don’t care if you’re wearing Rupa or Jockey’s. I don’t care if it messes with the chain that you’re hanging across the left side of your parachute pants. I also don’t give a flying Jatayu’s patootie whether it messes with your frumpled hair, your goatee, your black t-shirt and finger sleeves. What the fuck are finger sleeves anyway? Were you trying to measure the perfect condom size or are you a professional kite flyer? Pull those goddamn jeans up and stop showing me your hairy lower back before I call the tow truck and get your ass impounded for indecent exposure.

Stop watching Shah Rukh Khan Movies: No. He is not the greatest actor of our generation and will never be. But then again, your probably believe he drives around Mumbai in a Hyundai i10 as well. Stop crying about him feeling bad that Kolkata lost. Stop telling me My Name is Khan was the greatest bloody movie you ever saw. It only goes to show you have the same IQ as girls who scream in the movie hall every time Bobby Deol makes an appearance.

Stop believing what Arundhati Roy says: Seriously, bitch will get you shot. If following socialist hotties is your thing, go with Brinda Karat. The worst that might happen then is you will have no friends left.

Stop giving a fuck about the EPL: I’ve said this before and ill say it again. NO ONE gives a fuck about whether you support Man U or Barca. They’re not YOUR team and their success doesn’t mean that YOU won. No matter how many jersey’s you buy from a trip to Thailand or Palika Bazaar, no matter how many soccer shoes you buy and wear at inappropriate places, NO ONE gives a fuck. Find some other goddamn purpose in life than tweet about players whose names you can’t pronounce and who you’ve only been exposed to in FIFA 2007. And don’t you dare rattle off Fabregas’s statistics if you can’t supplement those with Sunil Chhetri’s either.

Stop pretending to be into hip-hop music: Just because your car has a bass tube and you listen to 50 Cent and Afro Man does not mean you love “Rap music”. Go and learn atleast 7 rhymes of Biggie Smalls or Tupac before I bust a cap in yo ass. Stick to rock, its easier to pull off being a fan of Nirvana.

Stop wearing Che Guevera T-Shirts: If the only thing you know is “he was the dude from Motorcycle Diaries”.

Stop wearing tight t-shirts after gymming: Just because you go to the gym and your bicep increased by half an inch doesn’t mean you start wearing body-hugging nipple busting t-shirts and walking like a scarecrow. And take those fucking sunglasses off. Its 8 in the bloody evening and no one will judge you for walking around with a hooker as arm candy anyway!

Stop putting obscure quotes and pictures as your status messages: Seriously, you’re trying to tell me your low attention span excuse for a hamster’s brain was up reading Dante and Nietzsche? Stop faking and pretending to be an intellectual. We all know you just Google quotes on love, success, friendship to try and make sense of your life and give yourself some comfort when the milkshake hits the desert cooler. And for fucks sake, stop quoting people like the CEO of General Motors and other crazy right-wingers. I know language isn’t your thing, but you might want to check the dictionary for “context”. Also, don’t forget to check “Dumbfuck”. You might find your picture next to Shivraj Patil’s.

Follow these steps, and you will be well on your way to becoming a successful individual, and more importantly, a human being.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Guy acquires X-Ray Vision

The 15 year old Ajitabh had been a big fan of super-heroes such as Superman, King Shahrukh Khan etc. He always used to fantasize how great his life would have been if only he had at least one super power. Little did he know that his world was about to be turned topsy turvy by the very power that he craves for so much; reminding very much of the Golden Midas touch.
This craving for super power continuously pestered his thoughts on Thursday night while Ajitabh was watching movie Badshah on his personal laptop. After the movie, as he fell asleep; he was still wondering of all the wonderful things that he would do, people he would meet if only he had a superpower. His last thoughts before he fell to sleep, after remembering his secret crush Anita, was a brief prayer to god to grant him some super power. 
Thus, there was nothing remarkable about the dull, Friday morning when he woke up with a sharp start. He was already late for his school bus so he hurriedly got ready and wished a harried goodbye to his parents before dashing out of his home. It was then that he realized that something was wrong and people were more naked than usual. Of course having been brought up in an upscale locality, he was used to overweight aunties trying to fit in clothes that Deepika Padukone used to wear in her childhood, guys wearing trousers ten sizes too big for their butt which incidentally is proudly flaunted with their red Jockey underwear, skimpily clad gals trying to be next Rakhi Sawant and Sambhavna Seth. So coming back to the point; he was used to all kind of skin showing in his locality but on this particular day there was more than usual amount of skin. In fact people didn’t seem to be wearing anything. “I was surprised that so many people were roaming around buck naked and I thought to myself that perhaps today was some particular occasion and these high class people are perhaps celebrating it” says Ajitabh. Though soon he realized that something was wrong. “It was as if nobody, even the most conservative of people, was feeling it odd seeing naked people”. “It was almost as if I was the only one who was surprised by so many butts and pe****s flowing around” says a still dazed Ajitabh. 
But all the thoughts were pushed out of his mind just when around the corner, he met his crush; Anita. And he thought no more. At least not from his brain… he didn’t. Perhaps the sword started the thinking process. And who could blame him at that moment when he was witness to the nubile body of his wildest fantasies. These thoughts carried him over to the school where he actually got a chance to meet his peers for the first time in the new visions. “I was seeing everyone in a new light… quite literally. Earlier I used to be intimidated by some guys. Now, with this vision, I could see them for what, or how much, they actually were. I was secretly glad with a comparatively assessment of the measurements and was sure that I must be in the top 20 percentile of my age group”. The shock was yet to come though.
“All was well until the classes started. My first class was for history taken by a prehistoric being who, we believed was teaching out of her personal experience as she must have lived through most of the history, by the name of Mrs. Ghosh. It was quite a shock for me to see my freckled, knotty, wrinkly skin septuagenarian without any clothes. But what did it for me was the tattoo of butterfly on her generous posterior. I mean even Matt Dillon got less of a shock watching Lin shaye cnnage through his binoculars in ‘There’s something about Mary’” And the day didn’t get any better after that. It was one incident after another as one teacher with one peculiarities led to another teacher with some other form of peculiarities.
“Now I realized how Pavitra Prabhakar must have felt helpless when his powers started to become a bane for him. Now I am truly at loss at what to do now. I used to be a very outgoing person, loved playing football and volleyball with my friends. But I am now very afraid to even look at someone; what with things flying here and there. I don’t even watch the recorded football matches for now I realize how much pain was in those nut-kicking actions” reminisces a sad, close eyed Ajitabh. “I was an ardent fan of the alternate version of the movie culture, and I used to fervently support the people who because of no money were forced to act without wearing any clothes, whose poverty forces them to work in compromising positions. But this art used to be widely appreciated by a lot of clientele including engineering students and pre-puberty age group who don’t get any otherwise. But this power has now stripped (no pun intended) me of even these basic joys of life” rues a dejected Ajitabh.
Experts at Lund University, Sweden (It is real trust me… Check it out here) are looking into the matter and will come out with a diagnosis. Meanwhile, some of this story seems to have leaked out to the press who are now raising an issue of invasion of privacy and are consulting with lawyers to see what all penal codes have been violated by Ajitabh and what can be a fitting punishment for him.
PS: If you haven't guessed it by now... This is a Spoof! I hope you enjoyed it 

Friday, May 14, 2010

BlogAdda WhoDunnit Mystery contest

With reference to the BlogAdda WhoDunnit Mystery contest at ( Going a bit creative and not with the obvious solution.

The Killer: Actually Lila never died. R and Lila conspired together and killed Sia. Hence the mangled armband and the missing bullet pendant. She could have been killed by the poisoned tea that the second husband fed Lila once and which was probably the one that Lila offered him during the last meet and which could also explain the broken ceramic.

The Object (

Things that bug me

Disclaimer: Another one of the rant posts...

Here I will try and list down things that bug me a lot... If you can empathise with any of them then you are more than welcome to provide some valuable feedback

Hypocrites – Some time back I put my facebook SM as “You drive a Honda Civic, wear a Van Heusen shirt, own a Rolex, use Hugo BOSS and carry a Louis Vuitton bag... AND YET YOU SPIT BEETLE JUICE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!!!”. It would be the same people who would wrinkle their nose at the beggars or people shitting on the railway tracks. Prey tell me do those people have an option? At least you have an option of not spitting on road or chewing beetle leaves. It’s not like you will die if you don’t your daily fix of beetle juice. Worse than these are people who say something and can be seen as actively practicing the exact opposite. So what if you have got some money from Ms. DLF builders? Unfortunately the money has not been able to instill some common sense in you. Instead, if anything, it has made you more of a brazen moron that you already were.

HonkersItni bhi kya jaldi hai bhaiyya tumko kahin pahunchane ki? When the ambulance is blaring horn behind you to clear up the road, tab toh you don’t seem to be in such a hurry. And let’s face it… How will a couple or even five to ten minutes really make a difference when you have to drive for another 45 minutes to an hour anyway. Are your senses really so insensitized to the obvious discomfort that you are causing to all the fellow travelers on the road? Or are you so addicted to the noise of blaring horns that you don’t feel “satisfied” until you’ve had some?  What is this urgent need for you to press the horn the moment traffic signal turns green? Is it really that difficult for your tiny brain to comprehend that even though the light has turned green, the vehicles next to you are not operating by magic which would immediately help them disapparate so that YOU can drive comfortably?

India TV – Why is it that all the odd news are reported first, and very often only, on India TV? Be it the “Dilli mein raat ko sariya logon mein ghusta hai” to the sensational stories about pigeons feeling depraved of their regular dose of evening daana while some people went off and got themselves shot at Taj Mumbai. Incidentally, all the news nowadays on all channels, especially on India TV, is “BREAKING NEWS” no matter even if it is being telecast for last two days straight. Let alone the matter that the quality of news across all channels have gone down the drain, India TV is now to the electronic media what Punjab Kesari used to be print media.

SMS Language – It’s alright for someone to use ‘k’ for ok, BRB for ‘Be Right Back’ etc. But why the hell do you have to write complete sentences in SMS speak? Isn’t the SMS language good when you have to convey things in a few words only? Why do you have to complicate things by writing the entire stories in alphanumeric form? Boy am I glad that the SMS language wasn’t invented earlier or else it would have been a real pian in the a** reading ‘The Christmas Carol’ or ‘Harry Potter’ series if it would have been something like “hry sd 2 hmione tht h ws fyn nd rn ws gng 2 schl 2moro” instead of “Harry said to Hermione that he was fine and Ron was going to school tomorrow”. Or worse, if we had Ved Vyasa write the Vedas and Upnishads in SMSese. That would have been something to be afraid of.

The teens of nowadays – Nowhere can you see a more pronounced impact of Ozone layer depletion than in the urban youth of today. I guess it must the extra UV rays reaching the surface of the Earth which must have caused the youth of today to be so dumb f****d piece of art that they are today. They hardly know anything worth knowing but they can very well argue with you over anything. No actually let me rephrase that. They don’t argue. In fact they can’t argue. And not just because they are some peace loving hippy or some followers of Gandhiji. They don’t argue because arguing requires conversation between two parties of almost equal intelligence disagreeing over some issue. In this case, since they are in single digit IQ points so there is no point of equal level of intelligence. And to actually talk about something would entail them having to have some knowledge about world in general. And these two things are almost impossible for today’s youth to achieve. So they end up sulking and talking only to other single digit IQ peers of theirs. Add to this a generous dose their unique fashion sense of wearing clothes ten sizes bigger their size of 5 sizes too small just so that they can flaunt their red jockey underwear (and that holds true for single digit IQs of either sexes). Sprinkle this mixture with the ready cash that they got from their Jat parents who have got ready cash thanks to Ms. DLF builders who have acquired the land around Delhi at gazillions times the price that they deserve. To this concoction, add a dash of the Jat-Indian-Broken English language, accentuated with the SMSese typical of them, that they think they have acquired and are actually proud of. Heat this mixture over the gentle yet scorching hot flame of the ego that these kids have and which is always ready to overflow over the brims of their teensy brains. And VOILLA… you have got an INSTANT RECIPE for DISASTER for the nation which is doomed to be governed by some of these morons in the coming future.