Friday, May 14, 2010

Things that bug me


Disclaimer: Another one of the rant posts...

Here I will try and list down things that bug me a lot... If you can empathise with any of them then you are more than welcome to provide some valuable feedback

Hypocrites – Some time back I put my facebook SM as “You drive a Honda Civic, wear a Van Heusen shirt, own a Rolex, use Hugo BOSS and carry a Louis Vuitton bag... AND YET YOU SPIT BEETLE JUICE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!!!”. It would be the same people who would wrinkle their nose at the beggars or people shitting on the railway tracks. Prey tell me do those people have an option? At least you have an option of not spitting on road or chewing beetle leaves. It’s not like you will die if you don’t your daily fix of beetle juice. Worse than these are people who say something and can be seen as actively practicing the exact opposite. So what if you have got some money from Ms. DLF builders? Unfortunately the money has not been able to instill some common sense in you. Instead, if anything, it has made you more of a brazen moron that you already were.

HonkersItni bhi kya jaldi hai bhaiyya tumko kahin pahunchane ki? When the ambulance is blaring horn behind you to clear up the road, tab toh you don’t seem to be in such a hurry. And let’s face it… How will a couple or even five to ten minutes really make a difference when you have to drive for another 45 minutes to an hour anyway. Are your senses really so insensitized to the obvious discomfort that you are causing to all the fellow travelers on the road? Or are you so addicted to the noise of blaring horns that you don’t feel “satisfied” until you’ve had some?  What is this urgent need for you to press the horn the moment traffic signal turns green? Is it really that difficult for your tiny brain to comprehend that even though the light has turned green, the vehicles next to you are not operating by magic which would immediately help them disapparate so that YOU can drive comfortably?

India TV – Why is it that all the odd news are reported first, and very often only, on India TV? Be it the “Dilli mein raat ko sariya logon mein ghusta hai” to the sensational stories about pigeons feeling depraved of their regular dose of evening daana while some people went off and got themselves shot at Taj Mumbai. Incidentally, all the news nowadays on all channels, especially on India TV, is “BREAKING NEWS” no matter even if it is being telecast for last two days straight. Let alone the matter that the quality of news across all channels have gone down the drain, India TV is now to the electronic media what Punjab Kesari used to be print media.

SMS Language – It’s alright for someone to use ‘k’ for ok, BRB for ‘Be Right Back’ etc. But why the hell do you have to write complete sentences in SMS speak? Isn’t the SMS language good when you have to convey things in a few words only? Why do you have to complicate things by writing the entire stories in alphanumeric form? Boy am I glad that the SMS language wasn’t invented earlier or else it would have been a real pian in the a** reading ‘The Christmas Carol’ or ‘Harry Potter’ series if it would have been something like “hry sd 2 hmione tht h ws fyn nd rn ws gng 2 schl 2moro” instead of “Harry said to Hermione that he was fine and Ron was going to school tomorrow”. Or worse, if we had Ved Vyasa write the Vedas and Upnishads in SMSese. That would have been something to be afraid of.

The teens of nowadays – Nowhere can you see a more pronounced impact of Ozone layer depletion than in the urban youth of today. I guess it must the extra UV rays reaching the surface of the Earth which must have caused the youth of today to be so dumb f****d piece of art that they are today. They hardly know anything worth knowing but they can very well argue with you over anything. No actually let me rephrase that. They don’t argue. In fact they can’t argue. And not just because they are some peace loving hippy or some followers of Gandhiji. They don’t argue because arguing requires conversation between two parties of almost equal intelligence disagreeing over some issue. In this case, since they are in single digit IQ points so there is no point of equal level of intelligence. And to actually talk about something would entail them having to have some knowledge about world in general. And these two things are almost impossible for today’s youth to achieve. So they end up sulking and talking only to other single digit IQ peers of theirs. Add to this a generous dose their unique fashion sense of wearing clothes ten sizes bigger their size of 5 sizes too small just so that they can flaunt their red jockey underwear (and that holds true for single digit IQs of either sexes). Sprinkle this mixture with the ready cash that they got from their Jat parents who have got ready cash thanks to Ms. DLF builders who have acquired the land around Delhi at gazillions times the price that they deserve. To this concoction, add a dash of the Jat-Indian-Broken English language, accentuated with the SMSese typical of them, that they think they have acquired and are actually proud of. Heat this mixture over the gentle yet scorching hot flame of the ego that these kids have and which is always ready to overflow over the brims of their teensy brains. And VOILLA… you have got an INSTANT RECIPE for DISASTER for the nation which is doomed to be governed by some of these morons in the coming future.

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