Friday, January 7, 2011

Things you should not do while dating a girl!

I came across this very interesting post here. So I am sharing it. The credit goes to the original author.

Let’s go Dutch: I know you do not have money, you are broke, you are yet to return the money to your friend, that he loaned you for Valentine’s day date, the bike is borrowed and petrol is pooled in by friends, there is no money in all the plastic cards that you have in your wallet, the jeans you are wearing is suffocating you, because the friend that you borrowed it from is few stones lighter than you, chances are very likely that, you may bump into your roomiee in a market and get a thrashing for wearing his shoes. With all the respect to your insolvency, you cannot avoid the dates, the mounting bills and the gifts. Dare to refuse, for a Friday movie release, a gift on occasions like, meeting anniversary, dating anniversary, handholding anniversary, kissing anniversary, first fight anniversary, and leave alone all the days, rose day, hug day and so on, you will face verbal slaughter with utmost insensitivity, leading to death due to shame. I know you want to catch some breath, I know you are almost to die due to the mounting debt, but never use the Golden words “Let’s Go Dutch”, the moment you utter these magical world, she will ditch you in all likelihood, and the worst is, you could be denounced as a looser in the girl’s community.

My moustache is better than yours: I know you are dying to compare, I know you are suffering from we-men-are-better-than-women syndrome the male chauvinist inside you is dying to establish itself as superior creature over the lesser mortals. I know you see them, you know they are there, I know you have a Sam Disilva or Sherlock Holmes, inside you but some things in life remain better, when unsaid. So please, for heaven’s sake, never ever compare like “My moustache is better than yours”. If at all you have the urge to say that, and you are ready to sacrifice the relationship, have the necessary safety equipment handy, e.g. helmet, a real fast bike or car, ambulance on quick dial of your mobile etc. But do not do these adventurous tricks, unless it is done under the supervision of a trained professional.

Don’t try to be superman: Ok... Let me clear the issue on the outset itself, I do not mean to dissuade you from wearing your underwear over your pant, you can and you must if you feel you have a clean pair of undies, and the color red is not faded enough. But what I mean by superman is, do not be on the move to get her things done, that too with efficiency. Damn, for a few praises, you may risk yourself for eternal slavery. I know, you can do all the domestic chores with utmost speed and accuracy, but you don’t have to tell her, if ever you do, you would end up doing the same all through your life. Getting her veggies, bank work, doing her clothes, buying groceries, fixing her laptop, dusting, and cleaning, is what you will be used for.

Never speak a lot: For most of the guys, the first date often ends up being the last date. Reason is the century old desire to flaunt your sense of humor. Little do you realize that, in the process of charming the lady with your humor, you end up saying things that can cause severe damage to your future. Most guys end up revealing the deep dark secrets on the first date itself, their crushes, how they wet their bed till the age of 12, their red undies, silly jokes, their Date financier, and their friends etc. Man.! if you tell her all these things, wouldn’t see just elope with your Date financier. Avoid, speaking a lot, rather, let her speak, at least if provoked, you can say, I love to hear you speak. It will surely get you a few extra brownie points.

Others: There are more ways to screw up your chances than getting it better. So stay guarded, vigilant and alert. Contrary to the popular perception, do not try being yourself, girl’s like faking it, and guys are too weird to be themselves. Some of the mistake that guys do is being genuinely natural and decently generous. For example, never gift her Ultra Clearasil, I know she has pimples; even Paris Hilton has one, so what. Never write down your date expenses on a secret diary in front of her. Never introduce her with your friends who are better than you, which is all of them. Never look for the price of a particular dish in the restaurant even if it reads as “Thymus gland of calf”. If you do not have enough money to cover the bill, you may ask for flexi pay. That is how many dishes to wash for per hundred rupee of outstanding bill. For this reason avoid going to places with self service, and pre paid options. Never buy her a top larger than, Medium size and Jeans with a waist size of more than 30 inches. If it doesn’t fit, (which will not, in most of the cases), convince her that it will fit her maybe from tomorrow, when she starts doing yoga. Never stop her from bitching any girl, if you do even if out of humanity, you will be termed as a sympathizer and making an act that could be considered as treason. Never stop her from praising about a guy, you may be blamed for your insecurity. Never encourage her for cooking, because if you do, you will be the first victim irrespective of whether you eat it or not.

This is just the tip of the Iceberg. There are zillions ways of getting screwed, I have mentioned here a few. Stay guarded.

Images Courtesy: unitedwaytriangle.org, skyrock.net, tinypic.com, atschool.eduweb.co.uk, dailymail.co.uk, miconian.com

7 comments:

  1. delicious one.
    I see you are getting more and more experienced.

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  2. Wonderful idea for a gift on occasions like, meeting anniversary, dating anniversary, handholding anniversary, kissing anniversary, first fight anniversary.
    Interesting post...........
    Best of luck..................!

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  3. @Pramodji: :D

    @Madhav: Welcome to the world of my Wandering Thoughts... Feel free to explore more! I am glad that you liked it

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  4. An interesting, entertainment and guiding post about Dating. Best of luck in your blogging task to provide us unique and interesting contents!

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  5. An alert informative post before going on dating. Thanks Aashish.

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  6. Hi writer i am read your blogs this is very useful information you have post for users i love blogs for read and i like to write some my idea for discussion so it is best way to share your knowledge thanks for post nice information.keep it up.
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