Sunday, June 5, 2011

An open letter to a suicidal friend

I read the following article in HT Brunch today and found it worth sharing...

To me, my problems are the worst in the world. Here's why I'll still not call it quits

Dear M, Relax, I'm not going to write about who you are and what you wrote in your e-mail to me. In fact, I'm not even going to talk about your life or about the problems that are making you feel like ending it. I'll talk about my life, if that's fine with you. When I got your mail, I wrote back that you're seeking advice from the wrong person.

This column deals with day-today stresses, by looking at the lighter side of life. And in this hay time for Babas, much as I would love to grab this opportunity to turn into a spiritual guru, I am neither qualified nor capable of advising someone on serious matters involving life and death.

But while I hope you benefit from my suggestion to seek immediate help from a professional counsellor, I still thought of letting you know that you aren't alone.

I, and surely many of those reading this right now, would have, at some point in life, got so fed up of problems that we'd thrown up our hands in the air and said things like `what's the use of such a life?' Some of us have had troubled childhood or super-stressed student life with unrealistic expectations. Some have witnessed domestic abuse to the extent that Karan Johar's `happy family' movies seem like mean, teaser, fairy tales. Some want to die because they are not getting married... some because they have got married. And some are in real bad physical pain...

and so on. But still we are all here, crowding out the earth and adding to the population explosion. Here's the thing. I don't know about your problems... to me, my problems seem like the worst. And still I won't end my life. Here's why you shouldn't, either.

  1. No matter how bad my problems are, I could still look around and always find someone who envies me. I know the mission suicide gang doesn't agree with this. But it's true, nonetheless. Compare bad marks with having no opportunity to study, or parents who fight, with having no parents at all... or not being able to marry the girl of your choice with someone who is banging his head on the wall because he did... (all girlfriends turn into monster wives! Now, I'm dead). If you are further deep in pits, just think of someone in an impoverished, faraway village who'll happily agree to be in your shoes, just to be able to have food. Suddenly, your mother-inlaw saying bitchy things about you doesn't seem like a good enough to reason to die, isn't it? 
  2. No matter how unwanted I may feel at times, someone somewhere will surely be at a loss if I die. Even if it is the 10-year-old on the traffic signal, whose name I don't know, but he knows that everyday he's able to sell me packs of pencils I don't even need by just smiling and saying `please'. Unknowingly, each one of us is a part of someone else's life. It's an interconnected chain... and therefore it can't be our arbitrary decision to willy-nilly snap a link. We are not allowed to be that selfish. 
  3. And finally, no matter how strong my resolve may be to end-it-all, what's the rush? I don't want to go without knowing what God may have in store for my future. And these astrologers are bad, they just don't tell me. So, I won't go. Maybe by some stroke of magic, my misery is anyway destined to end a month from now. Maybe I'm destined to be the next superstar (okay, fine. It was just an example, you don't have to shake your head that vigorously). How can we be in such hurry to opt for the unknown without waiting a little bit more to see what unfolds here? And who knows, maybe life's even harder up there, and you may find yourself in some remote corner of hell with no food... or facebook. It's irreversible, silly, put those sleeping pills aside. They anyway cause indigestion.

M my friend, don't think I'm making light of your situation. I can only try to imagine what you are going through. And I'm sure it's very, very tough. But, my only point is that we're all living through our respective hells in life, and we've kinda got used to it. I'm not sure if it'll be a good idea to try and trade it for yet another unknown hell. It may just be worse. Just wait it out, things have to get better. Suicide is not the last's just not an option... at all.

Sonal Kalra is firm that after the deeply spiritual write-up above, she's set to give serious competition to Baba Ramdev. If only she could go hungry. Mail your calmness tricks to Follow Sonal Kalra on twitter at


  1. hello bhaiya,
    that was a wonderful article and inspiring too.. i dont know what to say, i m speechless. yes everyday we face so many problem but the solution is not end, the solution is to fight against this sadness and achieve that cheerful happiness. i am really touched by your article...amazing work

  2. Hey Mahak... I am in total agreement with you!

    BTW, this article not written by me but merely copy pasted here... I read it is Brunch and found it to be worth sharing!

  3. hello bhaiya,
    bhaiya it doesn't matter who has written this article. what matter is that it provides strength and courage to accept our problems and your blog motivated us to move on with positive attitude...thanks

  4. Hi Aashish I definitely agree that the solution to a problem is by ending one's life. You can not solve the problem by that way, rather you are just adding a new problem which will hurt everyone who loves you. We should think of another way how we can make ourselves happy instead of that.

    Vins from Omega Seamaster

  5. @Mahak: I always feel glad if I am able to motivate anyone in any which way!

    @JDM: I agree that a suicide is not a solution but cause of many other problems!

  6. I remember writing about how to heal a broken heart because I was seeing a lot of that around me...and indeed it is one of the things one can the hope that it might help someone feeling lonely and possibly dejected somewhere..
    good stuff

  7. Well this letter really hit on on the heart. Life is crazy in so many ways and for some people whoo can't deal with it are only suggesting killing themselves. Suicide is the wrong answer in everyone's absolute worst situation or problem and this letter proves it correctly.

  8. @Sidra: Welcome to the world of my Wandering Thoughts... Feel free to explore more! Will read on that post. I am glad that I have been able to put some really nice thought out there...

    @Firenze: Welcome back... I agree that suicide is wrong in any which way... and doesnt solve the problem at all!

  9. A Nice inspiring article .. makes us believe that problems are a part of life .. one needs to fight them hard and be a warrior and not run away into grey shadows of depression .. so true .. " Behind every dark cloud is a Silver Lining " ..

  10. @Rakshit: Ofcourse all problems are a part of life.. and how ever much you try, the problems would still remain there! so it is always better to face them head on!


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