My second in the series of Stereotypes, I hope that this one is liked as well as the first one on Stereotypes in Traffic-----------------------------
Mr-Know-It-All - A SRK or Amitabh of sorts in the class (purely in terms of status and not to be taken as an estimate of popularity or looks); he is the bane of all his fellow class mates. An outlier that he is, he can single handedly take the class average up. Now, while that may appear as a good thing, it’s not. He creates major problems in Relative Grading scenarios. (You know who I am talking about here, don’t you?)
Mr-Who-Think-He-Knows-It-All – Akin to Rakhi Sawant, he may think he is very clever and all but rest assured, he is not. They think that they have the force with you but what they don’t know is that the ring of Sauron has slipped off their finger a long time and that the people can actually see him for what he they really is.
Mr-***Licker – These are the “Yes-boss” followers of the Yoda that the professor is. Never known to contradict whatever the professor are saying, they are often also known to evolve to a point to which they even start sounding similar to the professors, expressing the views that the profs are still in the process of contemplating. In the extreme avatar, these people even start wearing similar clothes as to the profs (aka Thick-brows and Gai sensei :D).
Mr-Sleeper – Well the name explains the chief characteristic of this person. Whatever the class, whatever the subject, whatever the professor and at all the times of the day; this person can be banked upon to give unwavering performance of sleeping in all the lectures. Often, they are very active once outside the class, but the soporific powers of the class have an especially strong effect on them. These people can be seen often on the vicinity of back benches, sometimes accompanied by loud sounds which the scientists are now planning to call as “snores”. Occasionally, these are also known to exhibit astute awareness of what is happening in their surroundings and react accordingly such as waking up suddenly with a question and supporting argument for the professor. The results for same may sometime include the elongation in the facial features of the surrounding people along with a certain bewilderness of the person concerned.
Mr-I-Don’t-care-whatever-you-say – This is the category of students which is the bane of the professors. They are least concerned with whatever the professors are speaking. They, after all, have their own very important things to consider such as the rate of growth of toenails in the ants or creating a solution for global warming. If they don’t like the statistics class that the professor are teaching, then he better be ready for a reprimand because these people WILL speak their mind. They are very carefree, innocent people; not very well versed with the functioning of the real world. So what if they are late for the train? Surely the train can wait beyond their departure time, shouldn’t it?
Mr-Stud – Bare minimum required levels of attendance, decent looks, minimal studying and still passing the exams with more than average scores; these folks are a source of jealousy to a lot of people. Even the profs are a bit inclined towards being a bit lenient towards these creatures; thereby creating a source of even more jealousy.
Mr-Cynic – He is very well known for his sense of crtiticism. People are afraid of speaking abything to him for the fear of a sharp reprimand on the knuckles for he is well versed with the art of nit picking and how to strip an argument bare, down to the last strand of DNA. He takes every comment, every argument, every figure... In short everything with a pinch of salt. Though, he can always be banked to bring out a sound logic in most of the projects.
Mr-Project-Manager - This species of homosapiens are well versed in the art of dividing. Whether it is dividing as to who will read what before exams and teach whom, or who will complete what part of the project and present which part; he can be banked up on to complete their work. They are always infested with a cluster of false emergency signals and have been known to have actually submitted their assignments well before deadlines. Though, they are a bane to most of the free riders as PM saab treats the free riders in the same way as the lepers are treated at the national convention of high tea drinking English upper class ladies or how the Pakistani players were treated at IPL3.
Mr-Globu – GLOBE or general bakar is the forte of this person. He need not even know about the topic on which he is speaking because he has certain set passages, snatches from different conversations and his ability to speak impromptu which are bound to come to his rescue and get him through any conversation with any person. But be warned, you stand at risk of losing your sanity, or in extreme cases your lives, while talking to him. I have seen people who have lost their will to live just by talking to these people. Interestingly, a lot of students who belong to this category are often known to become communication or “leadership” profs in their career; thereby tapping into a vast reservoir of unsuspecting bait, ready to unleash the full extent of their GLOBE on to those unfortunate ones to have landed him.
Mr-Theory – An Aristotle cum Shakespeare sum Yoda in the making, he is the perfect person for you is all you want to do is to spend an hour or two in his black hole (no pun intended). Have you been wondering why KKR has been displaying such dismal performances in IPL or why Mania actually wants to marry Kho-aib? For all such queries do contact Mr-Theory baba at 420-9-2-11.
Mr-Fraud-Questioner – What we used to call as fraud CP [Class Participation – As noted in ancient scriptures, it was a clever ploys developed by the sensei’s of ancient Japan to pit their followers against one another and to see which one out-speaks the other. Needless to say, like so many other Japanese techniques, this one is still widely practiced. Only the classrooms have changed] or one who actively indulges in after class participation with almost every professor. Their knack of confirming all their doubts from the professors often leaves the fellow students slightly red faced and in dire need to a few hundred shots of Vella-llium. Of course they are extremely obnoxious in nature and do actually think that they are indeed very smart and that the professor hasn’t noticed that they have simply rephrased the question original asked to the class. The professor, on his part, is silently laughing at the folly of this person while the rest of class is openly muttering curses to turn Mr-Fraud-Questioner to a Gollum and restricted to saying only “My Precious”.
Mr-Opinionated – He has an opinion and no one in the entire wide universe, no logic no rhyme can stir him from his opinions. He need not even have any logic behind whatever he is saying but he will argue for it like it is the most fundamental thing.
Mr-Sincere - In the pre KJo-Bhardwaj-Chopra era of the bollywood, of the famous mere pass maa hai genre; this class of the students were the ones who were known to top the exams and become awwal number the afsars even after studying under the street lights, their modern day avatars, though diminishing in numbers, can still be found in groups in the libraries of the college. They are very often the favorites of the professors for their knack of actually reading the cases assigned for the class, submitting the assignments by solving the questions on their own and a strict no-no to topoing assignments from others.
On popular demand, here are some stereotypes found only in the females but first a general observation. In both engineering (not talking about IGIT) and management education (not talking about XLRI or other HR management instis) there is a death of female candidates. Thus, all that the male candidates want is a more demographic representation of the countries’ male-female ratio in these institutes. In these hallowed institutions, sightings of a fellow homo-sapiens from venus is considered a divine sign and properly revered. Unfortunately, the situation reverses at the time of placements when the odds are indescribably in the favor of fairer sex. In most of the cases, an educated (trust me even big names are not required) female from the institutes (even if they are from Baburao Ganpat Rao Apte Institute of Medical, Engineering and Commerce Studies), with decent “attributes” are amongst the first ones to land with the best of the jobs. That’s not to say that they are not qualified for the job, heaven knows I have seen more than my fair share of qualified females during both engineering and MBA, but that sometimes other glaring attributes may also play a significant role. It is at those times that all males rue the fairer sex and crib about them.
Now that that bit of cribbing is out of the system, let’s get started with the stereotypes:
Ms-Sati-Savitri – Not referring to the marital or any other status in the fairer sex, these stereotypes are like the Brahmins-touch-me-not-i-will-get-dirty caste of the fairer sex; half of the guys are even afraid to talk to them lest the Earth should split open and swallow them up or the Lord Zeus start showering thunderbolts from the fabled 600th floor of the Empire state building.
Ms-Know-It-All – In addition to possessing all the attributes associated with Mr-Know-It-All, they are known to be incredibly insufferable. Often accompanied by load screeching voices emanating from their mouth or loads of thick, bushy growth from the top of their head; they know it all and they want to prove that they do. As I say, “There is nothing more dangerous than a girl with a point to prove”.
Ms-Congeniality – They like to create an impression of being infinitely delicate and being a femme fatale, always being on the prowl for unsuspecting males through which they can get their work done. Needless to say, many broken hearts are a testimony to the success rates of their tactics.
Ms-Tomboy – Rules, social dictat all may go to hell when these man-ladies decides to strut around the college with weird, barely fitting, ten sizes too short clothes; doing things that no guy would be caught dead doing.
There is an obvious stereotype of the fifth type (you know the one that ditched the singer and cause him so much of emosanal atyachar and to whom the singer pleads to take away his life) in the fairer sex (and one whose male counterpart is relatively rare to find, but sometimes you do find some playboys being described in newspapers) but I would rather not elaborate on them in view of this being a public forum and the fact that they are all too obvious for everyone to see.
Now that you are in eighth standard, you are so damn scared of the DAV boards that are about to happen later that year aren’t you? Don’t be. The exams will go swell and anyhow they are nothing like the life that you have laid ahead of you.
Learn to play an instrument: Throughout your life, you will have the regret of not having learnt a musical instrument. Not having been blessed with a musical voice, or for that matter any musical telent whatsoever, you fill find it disconcerting that you cannot play a musical instrument to save your life. But, now you still have so much time at your hand. So you can do that!
Learn foreign language: You have always wanted to learn a foreign language. Be it French, Japanese, Chinese etc. take some time to learn one now that you are still in school. Will go a long way to help you out.
Don't be afraid: Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. In retrospect, you'll always wish you had. You’ll always wish you had said no to someone when you should have.
Life is not fair: Life may be tough for a short while. But always remember that everything in the life is a phase. And like all phases, as good phases come and go, so do bad phases. Sometimes the things may be such that you might look for some exit strategies. But you know you're better than that. There would be times when you will look back on those incidents and laugh out loud.
