Stereotypes – Parents

And here is another one on stereotypes... This time it is the parents who will have to take the flak. The idea came in the form of a friend saying how her parents are not letting her go to a wedding and that got me thinking.

Warning: A long post!!!

OH-MY-CHILD-IS-SO-DELICATE-SO-HE-WONT-DO-ANYTHING: Also known as being very over protective (yes I know hyper exaggeration but these are stereotypes, aren’t they?). They are typical examples of how you SHOULDN’T be with kids. Typical examples can be seen in Bengali household when come cold (which for Bengalis means as soon as temperature falls below 40 deg C) they will take out all their winter clothes, including monkey caps and the works; and force their kids to wear it. I mean it is really a fun sight to watch a Bengali kid all decked up in gloves, muffler, sweater, warmers and monkey cap while all others roam around in T-shirts. And mind you, it is not restricted to the young ones only. Yet another variety comes in the form of parents who won’t let their children have any practical exposure such buying bread, or going to a chemist shop to buy medicine or god forbid if they have to buy the stationary. No. Their kids, they feel, are much too simple to have these dangerous experiences at the tender age of 25 years.

I-LET-MY-CHILD-DO-WHATEVER-THEY-WANT: On the other hand of the spectrum to the over protective parents are the over liberal parents who couldn’t give two hoots about what their child is up to. Most of the parents that fall into this category have loads and loads of money. So whenever their kids want something, they just give them another platinum card with no ceiling just so that they stop bothering their parents. That’s when the various incidents like the BMW-Hit-And-Run cases happen. But hey…the parents still don’t sweat because they have another set of platinum cards just for these purposes and funding the lavish lifestyles of their children. The children, following the examples of their parents, then evolve into two very different categories – One: The likes of Manu Sharma etc who, in the intoxication of their wealth, end up killing one or more people with guns, or BMWs or may even bore the prospects to death with unending talks about what their daddy does or how much money their mommy make. Second: The likes of people who, when have too much money, will spend all of it on high end ecstasy products like meth, cocaine, liquor etc and then die at the age of 25-30 years or drive their BMW over some innocent pedestrians. You get the idea.

SHOWOFFS: These parents take immense pride in whatever their child is doing and never, ever, ever miss an opportunity to one-up the other person when they are talking about their kids. Their sample conversation with other parents having kids in the same age group would be:

“Parents A: Did you know that Arun won a painting competition in the school?
Parents B: In the school? (With disdain written all over their face) Arrey that’s nothing. Our Noni won an inter-school dancing competition this year.
Parents B: (Not wanting to be shown down) I say that’s beginner’s luck. Arun has been winning that for two years now.

Meanwhile Arun and Noni and wailing in the background for their feeder which the ayah then brings to them.”

I-WONT-SHUTUP-TALKING-ABOUT-MY-KIDS: Aka too much proud parents. Did you know that their kid starting walking at the age of 2 years? Did you know that when he was three, he drew a map of India on their drawing room just with his drool? Did you know that he is so healthy that he poops ten times a day? I don’t really care about such parents. It is one thing when the parents actually have something to boast about. It’s another thing when you start obsessing with every breath and sigh of your kid. It gets even more irritating when these start posting each and every such thing on their twitter and facebook networks in addition to detailed visual representations on their blogs and flikr.

I-WONT-SHUTUP-TALKING-ABOUT-MY-NEPHEWS-AND-NIECES: Aka too much proud uncles and aunts. They are a sub-category of the showoffs and not of the too much proud parents. Not having done anything worthwhile in their entire lives, and having children with the talent equivalent of a wooden log, they find contentment in the achievements of their nephews and nieces, however distantly related they may be. Of course, like all the aunts and uncles, they try and act all derogatory in the face of these children just so the kids don’t get any wrong ideas like they are loved by their aunt and uncle or that they are even needed in this world. In the face of the parents of the child they will always, ALWAYS, criticize the parents for the upbringing that they have given to the child. Examples could include instances ranging from child’s drools all over the drawing room wall or his capacity to poop ten times a day to the child being a voracious reader/student. People don't really need much effort to find faults with others. Given any day, their wooden log of a child is always better than other's poop factory.

THE-ARGUMENTATIVE-PARENTS: They are the single biggest pain that any child is inherited with, even including congenital birth defects. These people single handedly, ok not single handedly but with four or more hands amongst themselves (considering any pati, patni aur woh type of cases are involved), are responsible for the destruction of a person’s childhood and emotional scars so deep that grand canyon compares to be a scratch on the surface. Often, it is with parents like these and lack of social development that you get the people belonging to the mentally troubled genre such as psychopaths, stalkers etc.

CRIBBER: The parents in this category have two further sub-categories and in order to do justice to them, it would be better to explain them separately. First category is of the parents who are never satisfied with whatever their child does. Even if the child studies for 25 hours in a day, they will not be satisfied with them. Not only that, they will also crib about the fact that their child doesn’t study “as much as he should” whenever they are around other parents and especially around teachers. They will always want their child to do more. If the child secured 90%, then instead of applauding them of the feat, they will always bugger them about the rest of the 10% and push them to get even higher marks in the future. It is with these parents that the children find themselves falling short of targets set for them and often provokes them for unwarranted extreme actions such as self inflicted injuries for the fear of disappointed their over-expecting parents. It is a different matter altogether that the parents themselves can even spell “SACHET” but they will still expect their children to win every damn thing that comes in to sight. The second category of these parents is the ones who are never satisfied with whatever they have. They will always crib about how costly the education for their child is, how they are barely able to make their expenses meet and how they have to make cut backs just so that their child gets proper education and how self-sacrificial they are. All while they are packing for a trip to Maldives (See they wanted to go to Mauritius but due to their sacrificial nature, they decided to cut back a little and go to Maldives instead).

POSSESSIVE: “Mera beta/beti sirf mere hain” (My son/daughter are mine only). Different from the Over-protective parents, as the category head suggests in itself, these parents are extremely possessive for their children. They themselves may work their children to death, as if in a hurry to depreciate all their net worth in one go; but they can’t tolerate their child even lifting a finger to help anyone else. Ironically, they also want that other’s children should always be willing to help them out in case of any requirement, however small it may be.

COMPARERS: These parents are never satisfied with whatever their child does or however hard he/she is trying. For them, their perfect child would always be some other than their own offspring; perhaps someone from an unknown planet in a galaxy far far away where, as the stereotypes go, he would not be the perfect child for his parents. Come what may, if the child comes to these parents and says “Hey dad! Know What? I scored a perfect 100 in Maths.”; in all probabilities the parents, instead of patting him on the back and giving a warm hug, would instead ask him “What about Rohan? He also got 100 in Maths didn’t he? And to top it all he also got 100 in Science when all you got was a lousy 98. What good are you for?” Of course, it is these parents who, more often than not, end up killing their own children (both metaphorically as well as literally speaking). With such a pressure on the children, the child forgets how to enjoy and instead starts slaving towards better marks or higher achievements to satiate the unquenchable thirst of their parents. This if the child is lucky. If the child is unlucky, the continuous contempt and the disapproving stance of their parents and fear of any activity with which they might end up disappointing their parents often drives them to retaliate against the society and become unconcerned, non-productive members or drive them down the path of death.

CONTROL-FREAKS: You would have heard all about these parents from your friends and secretely all think that their parents belong to this secret cult. Yes… they aaaaaaare the controoooooooooooooool freaks. They like to control each and every aspect of your life such as when you eat, when you sleep, when you wake up and when you work. Their sole purpose in life, other than your “goodwill”, is to be an overbearing presence in your life and be the force that guides all your actions.

CELEBRITY-PARENTS: The likes of BranGelina couple, Sushmita Sen like people who, now that they have gained as much as they could from the conventional media; are now focusing on non-conventional media to get some recognition and/or moolah for them. Then, there are variations of celebrity parents who were (or at least are supposed to be) stars in the iron age and are now planning for a launching pad for their off-spring. Please note that it is forever a launching pad till the offspring themselves become a veteran of the industry and looks for a “launching pad” for their own spawn. Famous for various movies wih their off springs in the lead, they used to be typically found in the Hollywood arena. This, however, has changed now with newer species rearing their heads in places such as cricket and reality shows.

WANNABE-CELEBRITY-PARENTS: Talking about reality shows brings us to our next set of prental stereotypes… wannabes. They are more typically the parents of some B or C or Z grade star who try and hog the limelight as much as they can. Case in point – Rakhi Sawant and his her mother. As the legend goes, Rakhi Sawant was a hard working, dedicated item girl who got into the business of remixed old songs itemized to current flavors to fulfill her obligations towards her brother, her mother and towards her family in general. She was forced to dance and Jejus (Yes. No spelling mistake there and if you have heard Rakhi you know what I mean) knows what all. But at some point, she got disowned/cheated/tortured etc from the family. This was after the BigBossSeason1 era, which incidentally got her a lot of publicity. Subsequently, the BigBossSeason3 era began with Rakhi’s mom coming into limelight and her ruing the spoilt relations in the family. Yet another species of this sub-class of parents are the ones who have their child (however young or old they maybe) participate in one of the umpteen numbers of reality shows on the Idiot Box (Now literally so). These parents then try to get maximum sympathy votes from the junta (in case of public voting) or judges by reciting a prepared script of how bad they have had, how difficult their lives were and how their child is just short of being angelic by reaching this far. They cry and sob, or make allegations over the decisions and try and create limelight for themselves and their child.

PERFECT-PARENTS: I hate to do this to the lot of you but someone has to bust this myth once and for all. THERE ARE NO PERFECT PARENTS!!! Whatever parents there exists; they are always a convoluted concoction of one or more of the above categories. In some parents, one particular traits would be very significantly observable while in others some other traits. Though, all of the traits are present in all of the parents, at all points of time, in however miniscule proportions. Even god Ram could not be a perfect parent… what are we but mere mortals?

PS: From the post, you might have gotten the idea that all BMW owners are bad and are prone to hurt someone or other. But that’s not true. Some are dead and some behind the bars.

Movie Review - Prince of Persia

I am a fan of this fantasy fiction genre. Though, I haven't played the PoP game, I have heard that it is quite the rage. So, it is without much expectations that I went to see the movie with my friends. Now, while the movie doesn't exactly blow you away like Dark Knight; it is still worth for one time watch on a hall and keeping a DVDrip with you just so you can watch it on your lappy whenever you want.

Though, the best thing about the movie is not the amazing landscaping, superb detailing or the special effects. It is the actors themselves. Actually two characters: First is the hero (Jake Gyllenhaal as Prince Dastan) which portrays the role of a sarcastic joker with deadly "kung fu"ish skills with panache, and the second is a villain-turned-friend trader (Alfred Molina as Sheik Amar) who believes in free trade, in government conspiracy killings, and in no taxes to the government. These two, provide a sort of comic relief in a superbly directed movie. Ben Kingsley was good in his role of King's brother and Gemma Arterton as Princess Tamina was passable.

Again, since I was not familiar with the plot; the ending was surprising and well executed as well.

And contrary to what I was expecting, with this movie being an adaptation of the movie, it turned out to be pretty well done. I do not care what the sophisticated critics may say about the movie... I liked it... My friends liked it and if you are looking for fun two hours, good special effects, and some witty sarcastic humor on modern capitalistic humor (and respite from scorching heat too); then this week, PoP is the movie for you; especially since Kites ki dor toh audience ne kaat hi di hai. (Kites has turned out to be a miserable failure that it is).

Travel Photos!

A Picture is worth a thousand words. This is my entry for BlogAdda Travel Photo challenge

This pic was taken with the intent of capturing only a picturesque lakeside view which, at sunset, was appearing very beautiful; without any couple in it. I was in a cab at that time and feeling too lazy to stop it momentarily and get off to take the picture, I decided to do so in the moving cab. As it happens, when it clicked, there was a couple in the landscape because of the moving cab and the shutter exposure getting delayed and all the technicalities. What makes it special is that it is usually otherwise that you want to take a picture of a person or a couple doing something(s) and yet you end up with a blank stretch. This was so opposite in nature and to that extent that it gave us all quite a few laughs.

What more could ask for the proof of Globalization? The picture was taken in Kolkata. The picture represents a British company, selling a Japanese product in the eastern parts of India. Globalization Indeed.

My Personal favorite. I spotted this in a sprawling mall in Kolkata on…. Wait for it… Valentine’s Day. Guess the mall authorities must have had enough of the couples in their malls (Kolkata is famous/notorious for girls and boys hooking up at a very early age) and were probably trying to act as a kill joy. Though, looking at the turnout, I would say that they failed miserably.

An example of the unity of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that the temperature was soaring and the humidity was providing them with no respite, these honest, hard(ly) working men and women toiled in the scorching sun, out on the main road to form a human chain to launch their protest against the disinvestment of United Bank of India. They also took care not to disrupt the traffic… by too much.

This is what happens when you drink a lot… of cold water… in the changing seasons, sleep only in your shorts with fan on at full speed.

The ubiquituous Pringoo item that i think should be useful to me... 

Some Tips for Census

This is a general post on increasing awareness amongst people about census. Now this is not a post where I will census is important, support the workers blah blah blah. 

This is a post about important things that one must know about the census and the census workers lest someone gets robbed blind by a bunch of impersonators in a census worker disguise just to get into the house or molesters or any variations thereof. For all you know, they could be con guys, TV guys, or simply sick guys.

• Don’t let anybody walk into your house without checking their identity cards if they say they are census enumerators. Also, they don’t come in groups, only one enumerator will visit your house.
• Don’t give away photocopies of any of your documents like proof of date of birth, residence etc. The enumerator won’t ask for any proof for your responses. If they ask for any documental proof, it most certainly isn’t going into the official records and would probably be used in some other god-forbidden scheme.
• However, since no official proof is being asked for doesn’t mean that you nuts over lying. Don’t be tempted to lie or brag while answering any question. If you use state transport buses to go to your office, don’t tell them you hire AC cabs. The data would never be made public on individual level, so what’s the point?
• It’s true that you could be penalized for refusing to answer a question, and it’s unfortunate that they never consult the civil society over the content of census questionnaire, but some questions are not yet part of the questionnaire.
• Use your common sense before answering, e.g. a census enumerator can surely ask if someone is pregnant in the family, but he or she has no business asking how and where did the member got pregnant. Similarly, they can ask about number of western or Indian toilets, but not whether you take a look at it before you flush.
• Familiarize yourself with the questionnaire. Perhaps no media organization gave you this information (as giving the information out doesn't increase the TRP but a robbed senior citizen couple does, and also provides fuel for future episodes), but here is the link of what a census questionnaire might look like. Try to go through the link.
• Still, if you don’t want to answer a question, you could claim that it hurts your religious or cultural sensitivity. Tell the enumerators that you find the questions provocative and offensive. It works; e.g. it is no longer necessarily for the head of the family to name the female members of his family as it was deemed to be against the customs of some communities.
• When the census interview is over, the enumerators would make a sign outside your residence.

In case of any doubt as to the identity or intentions of the workers, inform the police at the earnest or at least call your neighbors to the rescue.

All said and done, Please realize the just because some government school teachers have had the misfortune of being appointed on the census duty doesn't make them any less human. So whenever any genuine census worker comes to your doorstep, attend them courteously, offer them water and DON'T set you dogs on them or DON'T close door in their face. For the fake ones, you can go ahead and beat the hell out of them... I don't mind.

PS: This, after I read an article here. The article, though written in a humorist manner and makes fun of some aspects and the whole “bust size” thing, is a good read and very informative. I have copy pasted the relevant section of the article and modified as per the tone. I am not the original writer of this article.

Wanna Whack?

This post is an entry in BlogAdda’s Wanna Whack contest sponsored by Pringoo.

Here is my entry-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

On my way to work, I pass through Ashram Chowk. One fine day, as I was passing through chowk towards Faridabad, I encountered a lot of traffic despite that time being pretty early in the day. The reason, as I realized later was a female driver, in a new car, talking on her phone, while driving in the middle lane on the road and refusing to budge an inch. At that moment, I really felt like stopping the car and give her a piece of my mind.

At my office, we had three floors and an ultra-slow archaic lift. And I mean reaaallllly slow. On one day, I boarded the lift from ground floor to go to third floor. I was joined by a lady in the lift who couldn’t decide whether she wanted to go to second or first floor. Hence, she ended up pressing both buttons and got off on first floor. Which meant that I had to spend an eternity before I reached third floor. I swear, several of my hair turned grey that day.

A colleague of mine had an irritating habit of making a “tch” sound while trying to explain things to anyone. While that may be okay for a couple of minutes, it really starts getting on your nerves when you have to hear it on a continuous basis.

Yet another one on traffic woes… A sudden indicator-less lane changing by a motorcycle-F1-wannabe-driver and a Honda-City-Jat led to a 10 meter serial car bumping incident and brought the traffic to a standstill. Interestingly, as we were all stuck in the line-up, the Honda city driver took a left turn and disappeared from the scene while the wannabe F1 driver pulled another F1 stunt and sped away. While, we were stuck there for fault of anyone stuck there. Makes you wish you had some projectile to throw at them.

One of lectures at my institute took was looking like it might stretch beyond normal 90 minutes slot. That lecture being at the end of a very long day, was already getting pretty boring, and nobody was in any particular mood to letting it continue. The professor, though, had other things in mind and requested the class to bear for another 15 minutes. Though most of the class got ready to groan at that moment, a first bencher took the opportunity to enhance their credibility with the prof and told the prof that it would be ok to continue the lecture. The whole class was giving him the murderous looks. But that wasn’t all, he also asked several questions from the prof which further fueled the restlessness of the class. That was a classic incident how you desperately want to whack someone yet can’t.